[ Lacus has been... sleeping. Maybe. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she's been passing out in sporadic bursts in between a night of overthinking.
So, despite the fact that she is the absolute opposite of well-rested, she sees this notification very soon. It wakes her up with the combined force of all three Divine Dragon Refresher flavors. ]
Zelkov?
[ It could also be Nona, but Nona... She's not sure what is happening to her mind right now. And Nona would not double check so fastidiously. ]
I apologize for leaving you like this. It sounds as if it has caused you a great deal of pain, and to do so was certainly not my intention.
If you feel *anger* for my sake, please direct it solely at the administrators. Beelzebub was fully unaware of what he was doing and feels genuine *remorse* for his actions, so I do not hold it against him. I hope you will not continue to do so either.
[ Well, Beelzebub is there now. There is no reason he wouldn't tell Zelkov what she said to him - and what she quite sincerely meant in that moment. She's had time to cool down since, and to think about the repercussions of damaging her bonds like this.
Time to think about how it's not his fault, and yet-- How is she supposed to regard someone who keeps losing control of himself and killing her friends? With pity, maybe. ]
Please do not apologize to me for your own death. You are worth the mourning I am doing on your behalf. Every bit of pain I have felt in these last two days was a possible consequence I accepted the moment I began to care for you. I will continue to embrace it.
[ Typing that is the first time since finding the body that tears come to her eyes again. But it's not time to cry yet. ]
I don't know if I could ever trust Beelzebub again, but I can forgive him. For your sake, above all else.
[ actually it was all the already-deads who relayed that information, but ]
Thank you. I *truly* appreciate all of that.
From what I understand, we are nearing the end of all of this. I intend to help however I can to ensure that everyone you have lost here is able to return to you soon.
[ he's choosing not to think about the fact that that technically includes lobelia. ]
[ As if he weren't first on the list of people Lacus wants to return to life. Lobelia is... Lobelia, and he will go where Vergilius goes. He'll be fine, that way. Nona may not be able to return even if she'd like to, but Zelkov... ]
This time, allow me to help you as well. Allow me to struggle in your name. I won't be satisfied with a parting unless it is for us to return to our respective duties.
[ as much as he'd like to shield her from the harder things like he offered a long time ago, he deeply understands that need to achieve something with your own efforts, especially when you've been reduced to feeling like you're powerless to help anyone. ]
I will *gladly* accept it. Let us do what we can from our respective sides to ensure that satisfaction.
I am relieved to know you have it. Ensuring its *safety* was my top priority.
[ which. might answer some questions. ]
I encountered Beelzebub in his demon form when he approached the garden, and led him away from the main resort area to Kakapo's Nest. My hope was that I would be able to produce an anesthetic agent in the laboratory quickly enough to simply *disable* him, as I had no desire to repeat what happened with Xiao if I could help it. Unfortunately, I did not manage to buy enough time for it to be completed. The toxic gas was simply an *unfortunate* accident that occurred when some of the chemicals were knocked over during the struggle.
[ Even if he didn't manage to succeed. Even if everything fell apart. Zelkov always finds the next right step to take. From the shadows he's risen into a burning sun. ]
I hope Merlin is treating you well, after all the efforts you put in for us all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 6, obscenely early monday morning
Are you able to see this?
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So, despite the fact that she is the absolute opposite of well-rested, she sees this notification very soon. It wakes her up with the combined force of all three Divine Dragon Refresher flavors. ]
Zelkov?
[ It could also be Nona, but Nona... She's not sure what is happening to her mind right now. And Nona would not double check so fastidiously. ]
no subject
I apologize for leaving you like this. It sounds as if it has caused you a great deal of pain, and to do so was certainly not my intention.
If you feel *anger* for my sake, please direct it solely at the administrators. Beelzebub was fully unaware of what he was doing and feels genuine *remorse* for his actions, so I do not hold it against him. I hope you will not continue to do so either.
no subject
News travels fast on the other side.
[ Well, Beelzebub is there now. There is no reason he wouldn't tell Zelkov what she said to him - and what she quite sincerely meant in that moment. She's had time to cool down since, and to think about the repercussions of damaging her bonds like this.
Time to think about how it's not his fault, and yet-- How is she supposed to regard someone who keeps losing control of himself and killing her friends? With pity, maybe. ]
Please do not apologize to me for your own death. You are worth the mourning I am doing on your behalf. Every bit of pain I have felt in these last two days was a possible consequence I accepted the moment I began to care for you. I will continue to embrace it.
[ Typing that is the first time since finding the body that tears come to her eyes again. But it's not time to cry yet. ]
I don't know if I could ever trust Beelzebub again, but I can forgive him. For your sake, above all else.
no subject
Thank you. I *truly* appreciate all of that.
From what I understand, we are nearing the end of all of this. I intend to help however I can to ensure that everyone you have lost here is able to return to you soon.
[ he's choosing not to think about the fact that that technically includes lobelia. ]
no subject
[ As if he weren't first on the list of people Lacus wants to return to life. Lobelia is... Lobelia, and he will go where Vergilius goes. He'll be fine, that way. Nona may not be able to return even if she'd like to, but Zelkov... ]
This time, allow me to help you as well. Allow me to struggle in your name. I won't be satisfied with a parting unless it is for us to return to our respective duties.
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I will *gladly* accept it. Let us do what we can from our respective sides to ensure that satisfaction.
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[ Currently it is being kept hidden in Seagull cabana because wearing it certainly wouldn't have felt right either. ]
Can you tell me what happened?
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[ which. might answer some questions. ]
I encountered Beelzebub in his demon form when he approached the garden, and led him away from the main resort area to Kakapo's Nest. My hope was that I would be able to produce an anesthetic agent in the laboratory quickly enough to simply *disable* him, as I had no desire to repeat what happened with Xiao if I could help it. Unfortunately, I did not manage to buy enough time for it to be completed. The toxic gas was simply an *unfortunate* accident that occurred when some of the chemicals were knocked over during the struggle.
no subject
[ Even if he didn't manage to succeed. Even if everything fell apart. Zelkov always finds the next right step to take. From the shadows he's risen into a burning sun. ]
I hope Merlin is treating you well, after all the efforts you put in for us all.
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Your life is more than endless atonement.
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Is Nona with you?
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In a sense, but she is not the Nona any of us knew.
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[ And she's not sure if it's a relief or not. After all, even if Nona had remained as Nona, she would not have a body of her own to return to. ]
Thank you for confirming it for me. It's good to face that reality.
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